Derek Blanks
So ... Lately, I've trying something new => dating a younger guy. How much younger? A lot younger. Don't get me wrong ... he's over 18, but 21 is nowhere in sight. LOL If I wasn't diggin' him so much, I would be ashamed of myself. He makes me happy. I smile when I think about him. We have so much in common. Our lives pattern each other. It's crazy how we even think alike sometimes. He doesn't press or push. He's more calm and focused than some men that are in the age range that I normally date. He's open minded. Patient. Giving. Did I forget to mention handsome?!?! The man is fine. I haven't met anybody like him.
He scares me too though. ((I've never said that out loud, but it's true.)) Down in my heart of hearts, I feel like our "relationship" is some how unfair to him. Let's be real. I'm 23 years old. I'm trying to have something that is stable and has growth potential. My child bearing years are at the door. <=That's closer than around the corner. The next relationship that I involve myself in will hopefully lead to a walk down the aisle. As much as I like this man, he can't give me that. It would be unrealistic to think that he would. He hasn't lived life yet. He hasn't been to the club. He can't even legally take a drink. I know that a definite future is not something that he's thinking about BUT I am.
With all that being said ... I don't want to end what we have going. Plus, I have no reason to. We play very nice. We both feel a connection, so I have to ride this out. I don't want to wonder what would have happened. I want to know. Who knows ... He may even surprise me.
♥Beautiful♥
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