23 Years and Counting

Recently I had my 23rd birthday. That's right ... The young woman behind this baby face is 23 years strong in the game. I haven't posted in a long time, because I've just been taking a "self inventory" of sorts. I've been looking at the woman in the mirror. Staring into her eyes and seeing MY soul in the reflection. I've been trying to figure out where I am. You know, come to myself.

There is so much that I've wanted to accomplish and experience that I still haven't done. I'm almost ashamed of the young lady that I have become. When you spend time with yourself in the quiet of your own personal space, you're forced to see yourself for who you really are. The you that you try to hide because you aren't perfect. Because you are unsure of yourself. The you that does have flaws and insecurities. The you that you are in private is the you that you can never hide from.

I am a procrastinator. I am not self motivated. I'm not the go-getter that I want to be. I would always take the easy way out if I could. I'm shallow. I'm a liar. <- I lie to myself everyday. I'm inconsistent. I'm a hater ((bet 'cha nobody else would admit that)).

I hide behind the things that I know that other people value in me like my hair. My smile. My take charge attitude. My short temper.

Those are all traits that I'm going to change this year. The first step is admitting what the problems are so that you know what you need to correct.

There is a plus side to this, even though that picture that I've painted is grim. As long as I'm alive, I have a chance to make things the way I want them to be. Starting from this moment I'm going to take steps to become the person I want to be. It's not going to be easy, but it will be well worth it. Next year around this time I'm going to celebrating the beautiful woman that I've become. With the help of God I know that I can do all things.

The year of 23 is the year that I focus strictly on me.

No men. No family. No friends. Just Me.