By Whose Watch?

So, I've been away for a long time, but there is a good reason. I was living LIFE. I was dating a whole lot. I was laughing, grinning from ear to damn ear, and enjoying being me. ::Beautiful:: I didn't think that I would ever be the one to have a starting five, but I did. For a month I met, mingled, and even made out a few times. BUT that was a far as it went. Okay, okay, I got the green once or twice too.

After a month of juggling, planning, and sometimes sitting through the same movie three times ... I met a guy that I really liked and we decided to be exclusive. Looking back on it, we moved really fast. We talked for a week (( Talking is the very beginning stage of a potential relationship. It's when you get to know someone and decide if you would like to get with them on a more personal level.)) and then we became a couple.

For the first couple of days, I wasn't even sure if I had made the right decision regarding him. I felt as though we didn't know each other well and we didn't communicate with each other on a level that I would have liked. BUT I thought that He was so cute and had the sexiest smile. His eyes were just so expressive <-- like Shemar Moore's. I bent a little.

Fast forward, we've been together for a week and everything was cool. We'd went on one date and shared a handful of kisses. Okay ... two handfuls of kisses. It was his birthday and it made a full seven days for us. <-- Yes, I was keeping track. He came over, we chilled for a few minutes, and of course the make out session began. It went on for a hour or so and He decided that we should take it to the "next level". On the real, I didn't feel comfortable with it at that point. Like I said, I felt like we didn't know each other well enough to have sex. We hadn't been together long enough for me to see his TRUE colors. He seemed a little disappointed, but he accepted it.

The second week I was on "The Red", so getting down was completely out of the question, even though deep down I really wanted to. I was feeling better about "us" and we were starting to connect emotionally. ((Okay, I was a little horny too.)) But somewhere in the back of my mind, I still felt like it was too soon. So twice that week he accepted my wanting (in this case, HAVING) to wait. I guess at that point, his disappointment turned into anger, and he was complaining. He told me he was frustrated and asked me how long would he have to wait.

I couldn't give him a definite answer, because I didn't have one. I told him that I just wanted for it be right. I wanted to KNOW that he wanted to be with me and not just get some and be out. The days following our talk, there was a lot of tension between us. We weren't spending time together or talking on the phone. It got to the point that we would be sitting together at the same table and he wouldn't look at me or speak to me. That hurt me.

A couple of days later, He broke up with me. It made me feel like he was only after sex. I felt like he was saying , "If you're not going to fuck when you I want you to, then there is no need to even deal with you. You're not worth the wait or the time. I'm not trying to have something with you. I just want to screw you."

My mama always told me to hold out until I see what he's all about, but after this particular incident I was second guessing my decision. I really did like him. I felt like I studied long, and studied wrong, so when I looked up ... He was gone. I talked to a couple of my friends about it recently and it brought up a good question. When do you become intimate with somebody for the first time? What should the time frame be? He was down from day one. I wanted it to feel right. I wanted to establish a connection first. Did I make him wait too long? Or did I make the right choice?