Time to Do the Unthinkable

Press Pause to Stop Music

There are a couple of things that I am utterly afraid of experiencing. Rejection is definitely on that list. Okay ... It's no secret to anybody that I'm digging on ::Grayson:: and have been for quite some time now. In light of current issues with so called friends and members of the opposite sex, I truly feel like I have no choice but to do the unthinkable and approach him. I really like him, more so than any other young whipper snapper that I've met out here.

At one point, I was trying my hardest not to be attracted to him. He hadn't shown me any signs that would lead me to believe that he was even remotely interested in me. To make the whole ordeal even more interesting, I felt like he knew that I was crushing on him, and only pulled my heart strings when he was bored. That could make anybody feel like they were wasting their time. But out of nowhere, he started flirting with me. Awkward flirting, but flirting none the less. You know that 'You ain't ready for me' comment one day. The staring. Okay this is what is crazy, Saturday he caught me staring. You know me, I tried to avert my gaze. Today I caught him staring at me, and do yall know this dude didn't even try to look away. LOL. We just stared at each other for about three minutes. <- That seems like a long time when you're in church. It just little things like that, that make me not want to give up until I really just know what's good. I feel like he could probably be a really great dude. He already has the basic requirements on lock. I'm attracted to him. He's in church. No kids. Car. Job. Sounds like a true winner to me. I just have to know, so that if he isn't feeling me, I can move on. Until then I'm stuck mode. I heard this song by Luther Vandross when I was in my car and it made me think about our situation. I hope Luther is right about this.

Today I was going to approach him. I was ready. I didn't really care what his answer was going to be. I just wanted to know. Everybody was saying how pretty I looked today, and that just gave me the push I needed. I had my plan, and I was ready to set it in motion. So church is over, I waiting on him. Adrenaline is rushing, because I'm kind of nervous. And what happens ... Mama comes out of the wood work saying come on ::Beautiful::, I'm ready to go. Now this woman normally sits there when church is over for an hour. Today she's ready to in five minutes! Maybe it was for the best, but I really feel like this was supposed to be our day. I'm not giving up though, because this thing is driving me crazy. Mama says that he probably has been feeling the same thing, and doesn't want to get rejected either. She said to anybody that doesn't know, it just seems like I don't pay him that much attention. I've got to get it over with, by this time next week I'll have an answer.