Starting Now

One of my very best friends ::Leah::, sent a text the other morning and it basically said that sometimes we are prisoners of our own concepts or ideas. Sometimes we put ourselves in a box and then complain about it. Even though, we are the reason that the box is able to imprison us. To me, the biggest thing that keeps us bound is fear. We are afraid of what people might say, and of what could happen. But sometimes, that very thinking keeps of us from being happy. Being afraid of change will always make stay where you are. Sometimes you have to take a chance.

I've been thinking alot about my future. It seems like time is just slipping away and I don't have anything to show for it. I looked up one day and I had been out of high school for four years and didn't have a associate's degree. I have one now, but about a few short weeks of being proud of that accomplishment ... I was embarrassed that an associate's degree was all that I had to show for all the time that I had spent in school. I felt like I should have accomplished more than I had, and in all honesty ... I was right. I should have been finished with a bachelor's degree, after all I had been given the same amount of time as everyone that had done it in four years, but I lacked the determination and discipline that they had. Whose fault was that? Mine. I'm to blame.

I can't change the past. All I can do is start from today. Everything starts with a goal. Once you have those goals, you have to prioritize them, and for a while school wasn't the highest thing on my list, but now ... it's the only thing on my list. I don't want to look back and think about what I should have and could have done. I'm going to take things into my hands.

The first step is finding a new job. In my current profession, I feel like my growth is being stagnated. I want to be a pharmacist or at the very least a pharmacy representative. My current job isn't preparing me for either of those goals. At first I was hesitant to even look for something else, but I talked with a wise lady <- ::Mrs. Tabitha::, my beautician, I realized that anything that isn't helping you get where you want to be is hindering you. I know what I want to do, so now I have to place myself in a position to be able to do it.

When you're not happy it's time to be out, and it's not even about somebody "making" me leave. Which is the type of mind set that I had at first. It's me deciding that my current situation isn't working and doing what I need to do to be happy and at peace with myself. When you're doing something that you love ... it's easy. It's natural. It's blessing, but sometimes in order to receive what GOD has for you, you have to step out on faith and just believe that HE will make a way. I'm taking those seven steps, and I know that GOD is gonna have my back.